Meeting his future self, that'd been jarring, and hearing about his future death and everything after, that'd been pretty fucking jarring, but this -- the other Miles looking at him like that... Miles just looks at him helplessly for a moment, opening his free hand palm up.

"We were always afraid to be different," he says slowly, carefully, and God, he's really too drunk for this, they both are. "We were sick of it. And it was easy not to think about." Hell, he'd fixated on Elena for over ten years, and that'd kept him plenty busy.

"But after a while, it wasn't that easy there. There wasn't so much to be afraid of. I'm not an idiot, I never thought I'd find Lady Vorkosigan on the Moira, but -- " But that doesn't mean it wasn't worth it. He blows out his breath, biting his lip. "You never knew Clark, but you know Bel. Have you ever really thought about why that always made you jump? Is that idea really so disturbing to you?"