forbarrayar_ooc | test drive meme

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tsarcasm:
Barrayar ⚔ Cetaganda ⚔ The Invasion

Have you read the FAQ?

The Village ⚔ The Barrayaran Camp ⚔ The Cetagandan Base ⚔ The Fight

You've been on Barrayar for a while now, and you're finally starting to adjust. Or maybe you're not. Maybe this is all still too much for you – the attacks, the constant raids, living in the middle of a war zone by no choice of your own. But if you want to live long enough to make it back home one day, you might as well do what you can to help the war effort. Besides, where else are you going to go?

The fierce Barrayaran winter rages even to the southern end of the continent, and it's been none too kind to Vorkosigan's District. Temperatures at sea level are well below freezing, and up in the mountains, it's even colder. Several inches of snow already blanket most of the mountains all the way down to the Cetagandan base, and the storm that's just started up is only bringing more down. Visibility is low in the flurries, wind swirling snow everywhere, and God help you if you get lost on your own out in the storm. Nights are cold, these days.

A recent attack on the Cetagandan base has left half their facilities damaged and in disarray. Raid parties snuck in by night, planting bombs in previously scouted locations for maximum effect. Damage to the base's water treatment plant and organic grow labs have considerably impacted the Cetagandans' food and water supply, and in the chaos caused by the explosions, the Barrayaran guerrillas raided their medbay and made off with a considerable bounty of medical supplies. One man's bane is another man's boon, and while the Cetagandans have reserve supplies to sustain them for now, some of the damage is extensive and the repairs will take time. But in the meantime, the Barrayarans have scored a precious victory as well as equally precious resources.

the village
The Riverfall villagers are used to the harsh winters of the Dendarii mountains, and though they don't have much themselves, they are happy to offer what they can in terms of cold-weather clothing and extra blankets to those allied with the guerrillas. Despite the cold, the hill children are going wild in the snow, and they may try to lure you into their play by sneakily pelting you with snowballs.

Cetagandan allies, however, may not be met so warmly, and at the first sight of ghem soldiers, any children out playing in the snow will be immediately ushered into their homes. Unaccompanied outsiders from the Cetagandan base might have an easier time talking to the hillfolk, but any attempt at digging information about the guerrillas out of them will get you stonewalled fast. A sneaky hill child or two may steal away from their home to approach one of the "bad guy" outsiders to sate their curiosity.

the barrayaran camp
Morale is higher than it has been in a while after their recent victory, and the guerrillas are in high spirits. And do they ever love their spirits – as night falls, most of the Barrayarans gathered around the campfires are enjoying the deceptively named, dangerously alcoholic moonshine they call maple mead. It might start out sweet, but it burns all the way down, and a few glasses of that stuff will tank even the heaviest Barrayaran soldier.

But the storm rages on despite their celebration, and preparations must be made. Clearing as much snow off the tents as possible will help ensure that no tents collapse overnight, the horses need to be tended to, and the officers are always running training drills. Food is in real supply now, but the guerrillas need help foraging and hunting nonetheless. And when night falls, you'll have to find a way to keep yourself warm – it's a good thing there are a cozy ten of you to a tent.

the cetagandan base
The Cetagandans outnumber their guerrilla enemies almost seventy-to-one, so their base has not been completely devastated, but it hardly looks to be the work of a few raiding parties. Nothing is beyond repair, but the water treatment plant has been taken offline, which means that all water is now locally sourced and must be treated by hand with purification tablets. No one in the base will starve, but fresh food is mostly unavailable until they get the grow labs back online, which means that meals are mostly comprised of ration bars and MREs. Morale isn't exactly at an all-time low, but none of the ghem officers seem to be in a good mood.

They won't hesitate to put you to work, either. They need all the engineers and laborers they can get for the grow labs and the treatment plant, and the medbay's inventory needs to be thoroughly audited before they can send a request for more supplies. But if you need a break, it's not too hard to slip away for a little quiet downtime. Some of the lower-ranked ghem ladies might let you participate in some more artistic activities, or maybe some of the enlisted soldiers who are a little more used to you by now might invite you into one of their Cetagandan games of strategy. Or, since the treatment plant only affected potable water, you could appreciate your comfortable surroundings and take a nice hot soak in the bathroom while everyone else is working.

the fight
PVP
You're in the midst of a skirmish with the other side -- maybe you signed up for the battle, maybe you just got caught up in the fight -- but at least it's easy to tell who's on what side. Only one side is wielding swords, and the other guns.

But then you come across someone who doesn't look like they're either -- not one of the rugged Barrayarans or the face-painted Cetagandans, but an outsider, an exotic like you. They must be. So do you fight?

RECON
Maybe you're not on the front lines, but there's plenty more to winning the war than just fighting. You're partnered with another outsider on recon; the ground is cold, and you try not to let your shoes crunch too loudly on snow as you scout, scanning for patrols or supply lines.

Or maybe you're with the Cetagandans, hiking it thorugh the mountains with one of your fellow exotics in an attempt to locate the enemy camp. Except it's damned cold, and there's hidden ice everywhere, and everything is starting to really look the same.

--

Feel free to write prompts for your character on either side -- you don't have to choose just one for the TDM! Just label it clearly so folks know. GO WILD, MY FRIENDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why is Aurelia here? Why is she crouching next to Miles, smiling like a demon?

Space magic, who knows.

"You seem indisposed, darling," she says, clearly enjoying herself. She raises a gloved hand and pokes his broken leg. "It seems you need help."

Bad enough that anyone finds him in this humiliatingly compromised position. Bad enough that it's cold and he's in the snow. Bad enough that someone is frigging poking his bad leg --

That voice. No. No. Miles's head jerks up and he chokes out in mixed fury and disbelief, "You?"

This might not even be the same Aurelia, the odds are against it, but Miles doesn't think that her lack of acquaintance would make her any less despicable.

"Me," she confirms, still grinning.

"It seems we're destined to be together."

Miles stares at her in utter disgust, lingering shock, and dawning horror, and then promptly starts to crawl his way back to the rock he'd fallen off of.

Aurelia just rolls her eyes, stands up and follows him. When she gets close enough, she puts a boot on his leg.

The broken one, naturally.

"That won't help anyone."

Miles's outstretched hand stops just short of being able to reach the closest of the boulders, and he grits his teeth on a hiss at the sharp pain in his leg. He'd forgotten what this much loathing felt like.

"Really? Because I was thinking that it'd be of great benefit to me if I could just get a few blows in against that rock with my head."

"You won't be unlucky enough for that, darling."

She takes her foot of him, walking around to his head.

"The way I see it, I could either leave you out here to freeze or I could assist you."

Miles gives her a bland smile.

"I'll take the improv cryonics, thanks."

"That's exactly what I hoped you'd say."

Which means she's going to pick him up and take him to the medical tent. Passive aggressive life saving.

Miles lets out an undignified yelp and makes an earnest attempt at getting her to drop him, because a broken arm on top of a broken leg would honestly be preferable to this.

"What," he grinds out between his teeth, "are you doing?"

"I don't fancy suffering here alone, darling. You're going to suffer with me."

He's small. Aurelia is large and strong and it's not hard for her to resist the wiggling at all.

Miles lets out the rudest, most hysterical laugh he can muster. The hysteria he doesn't have to fake much.

"Joke's on you," he snarls through his teeth. He is smiling terribly wrong. "The second that doctor sees me he's going to try to perform a really late-term abortion."

"Yes, I was afraid your level of annoying was terminal. Darling, you're staying with me. That's a fact. If the doctor tries anything else, I shall open his throat with his own scalpel."

Aurelia doesn't care. She literally just wants Miles alive to suffer with her.

He's never met someone he so thoroughly detested, except maybe Cavilo. But even Cavilo had a tipping point. Aurelia's like that nasty bit of phlegm in the back of your throat that you can't quite get rid of and leaves an awful taste to boot. Ugh.

"What are the odds you'll kill each other in the fight?" he mutters darkly.

"Darling, I've emptied out entire bandit camps alone."

She shakes him slightly in her arms, just to make it hurt again.

"So the answer to that is not likely."

Miles groans under his breath. Why does she have to be so deadly on top of being so...awful.

Just for experimentation, he tries aiming a kick at her face with the already broken foot. It'll hurt like hell, but that foot's already broken, so whatever.

Aurelia doesn't even look at him, she just shifts him in her arms, grabs his ankle and lets him fall to the hard, uneven ground.

Miles wants more broken bones? Fine by her.

test drive meme

WILDCARD

fuc K OFF

nope

fu1ck

heheheheh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JESUS CHRIST

HOHOHOHOHO

THEYRE SO SHITTY

THEY ARE

HE HATES THIS

GOOD

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